missmischeif:

moriarty-mastermind:

quicksilver-ace:

garashirs:

garashirs:

concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer

this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child! you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”

John has said “🎶Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare! 🎶” and Cecil has said “Delta Airlines, because it’s not like you’re safe anywhere else.”

Here’s an active link for the quiz: https://www.fyrebox.com/play/john-mulaney-or-cecil-pal_KBYBdgAN6

John Mulaney Or Cecil Palmer?

A story about you, or a story about the best meal I ever had?

Fyrebox

I love both these things immensely but tjis was wAaaay harder than I thought it would be

(via enlightenedrobot)

superhero-nerd:

stuckinthe-climb:

*plays assassins creed to study for my ap history exam*

This is actually really funny. In high school my humanities teacher told us a story about one of the Europe trips he had gone on with the school a few summers past. So him and the group of kids were in the middle of Rome and the tour guide had gotten lost. They could figure out how to get to some church they were going to see. All of a sudden one of the students like call attention to himself. He says he knows where to go and just start walking around the streets, taking back roads and side streets and within 20 mins they’re at the church they needed to get to. My teacher asks the kid if he has every been to Italy before. He says no, he just knew where to go because he played Assassins Creed Brotherhood.

(via king-satan-nipple)

manticoreimaginary:

sleepystellarsister:

Hozier and Florence Welch are just pseudonyms Hades and Persephone have taken on after haven taken music lessons from Orpheus for a couple thousand years and deciding going into the music industry and gaining “fans” would be a modern equivalent form of the worship that previously sustained them thanks for coming to my ted talk

#yeah except florence is hades and hozier is persephone

(via king-satan-nipple)

thebritishempirestrikesback:

mcclaimed:

spideyswede:

I love this photo of Tom Holland because he looks like a kid that’s been listening to his racist relatives argue over Christmas dinner for the last half hour:

him and that frog are about to go off

am I going mad?? Where the fuck is the frog in this photo??? help!

(via king-satan-nipple)